got a hug from louis today! thought i'd mention it in my blog, because they don't come by very often. i didn't even ask for it! he initiated the open arms invitation *NAWWS*

even got to actually hear him sing in the car too =O rarely get to do that too haha.

usually when i drive i just get around from A to B and i never really understood louis' appreciation for nice long drives at night. but today i got it. today i sorta understood where he was coming from. just sitting in the car with the window down and driving in the quiet night with all the pretty lights. it was nice.

on another note, didn't get much work done this morning at uni = BADBADBAD!

however did get a bit done staying back with louis. i should stay back more often, i prefer it... it's just that no way to get home. maybe i'll scab more lifts off louis as the semester progresses

had pretty interesting conversation with chris today. and it was about the past! and tbh, we've known each other for like ... what? 7 years now and there are still a few things that we don't know about each other. it was quite an enlightening conversation i thought. very interesting.

it also kinda reminded me how horrific my memory is.

so anyways i went to the very beginning of this blog and started reading about the TY dinner we had for our leaders.. and then i went on facebook and found photos from the dinner (they were horrific LOL)

and then i saw the album from leavers!!! like zmgsh!!! good times!

so anyways that's not too bad, we don't look very different hey! even though it was two years ago

now look at this one! it's a only a bit earlier than the above photo, i just thought chris looked funny in it LOL

omgsh please don't kill me chris! bahahahaa

i couldn't get up this morning. so i skipped my two uni lectures and opted to sleep in. i knew it was going to be a full on week but i thought i could handlle it.

SMA dinner tuesday night. the place was really pretty, cept it was so cold and it was outdoors!

the food was meh-ish, and i was pretty tired and grumpy tbh =/

but it was good to see my boyfriend's presentation thingo. if i think about it, i don't see him talk in front of an audience like... ever =/

on other news i got a haircut.

before

and after

doesn't look that different huh? but its so much lighter haha like i was washing my hair yesterday and there was hardly anything to wash! so yes i went to top image again (instead of k3g) because they open at 9am xD and the lady there is pretty nice... so i asked her to do something different (but not too extreme because i'm too scared lol) so she said my hair was flat :( so she was going to add volume with short layers. but yeah she made it look good when she blowdried it... the only problem is today... =X i don't know how to make it look the same bahaha.

also went for dimsum yesterday with the boyare girls! varn's going to china for a year! bahaha she's so funny, like complaining about the street ally in northbridge... when she's going to china...... eRrr...... lol

finally got a photo with the artwork outside mums office without looking awkward xD

anyways, quite a relaxing morning to get some energy back into me... sighh... work soooooooon.

x. i'm still trying to get my head around the fact that people are wired differently when it comes to mission. something i picked up when speaking to timmie about it. i guess because i'm just so "passionate" about it that i've never really seen why you wouldn't be. it's something that's starting to open my eyes to the many different perspectives of missions.

x. i think it's sad that very close friends can be that one day, and distant the next. i understand some people are scared of becoming too close... but then if you become so cautious about it, you end up distancing yourself so much that you kinda let go - and you end up losing on something that you once use to value so very much. i know it's not easy to find that happy medium, but i think its possible and i think you should have at least tried or maybe even not let go that easily.

x. the first kairos course session was pretty intro-ish. tbh i wasn't too sure about this course at first. but i guess this year is more about learning and growing for me, so it was really perfect timing. i'm hoping the book / content is really good, because so far the old school videos and odd humar are slightly off putting (just slightly)

x. i'm still behind in a lot of note taking and uni work. but i guess it's worked  out really well because my hours at work have been superly cut down due to the new manager (i am pretty sure he doesn't like me) and i have more time to study / do uni work... it's not like i need the money anyways so it does bother me much

x. what kind of person do you want people to know you as? i ask you that because my mate is becoming increasingly known for his 'party-ish' behaviour. and i think that makes me slightly sad because i see him in a totally different way and i know (at least i think i do) the real him, not just that superficial party-goer. and to know that people are beginning to percieve him in this other way... i guess it just makes me think like, by giving him more attention and even 'fame' almost, it's almost like encouraging it? because i mean, who doesn't want attention? but to me, it just feels like attention for the wrong reasons :( but it's really hard to show that i care, without him pushing me away.

x. chris has been my study buddy for practically the whole year. which i guess is odd almost because we don't even do the same course. but i guess we kinda have the same work ethic, with the whole trying to get into medicine thing. most of my friends who do my course either don't rock up to lectures half the time, or don't really feel the need to study as hard? i don't know. but it's been good knowing i have someone that i can study with like everyday, and by that i mean like reallyyyy study and not get distracted easily and end up talking etc lol.

x. speaking of study, this year i seem a lot more focused and less cruisey about uni, assignments, exams etc. i think last year i was still kinda in the flukey stage of things, where i would rely on my natural ability or logic or even last minute cramming, where as this year i really am trying to be better and hopefully do the best that i can.

x. i'm finding it slightly difficult to get out of bed in the mornings lately. i think i'm overdoing it, physically. uni during the day, stuff on at night. i haven't been resting my body much. and i just can't seem to pull myself out of bed in the mornings despite 8 hours sleep. will need to make a valid point to rest a bit more. gonna be slightly difficult with the full on week i have upcoming though and not to mention upcoming assignments!

x. to finish, i guess what i'm starting to really notice is that what some people think as cool, i think is actually not cool. and vice versa. maybe it's because i never really gotten into the whole clubbing or partying thing. like for me, i just don't think getting trashed and hooking up etc is fun... and i just don't really get the point / benefit out of it... idk, kinda reminds me of back in year 8 and we use to think northbridge was kinda cool, go there and play some pool, drink some bubble tea and get photos at timezone and stuff like that..... and at the time that was pretty cool for us.. and after, we look at kids who do that and think to ourself "TB ALERT" etc. i guess as we get older our perspective on things change. and everyone's views on things, or ideas of having fun, or things that they care about... it's all different for each person.

so here i leave you with a pretty picture of some tulips. i was having a conversation to nathan about tulips the other day, because he was asking me what kind of flowers to get his gf and i was like TULIPS! bahaha. lovelove.

well this week is the last week for the semester...

and so the other day i was thinking of the new friends i made this semester

i met a couple, but only sorta stayed in contact throughout the semester with a few (mainly through sitting next to each other in labs or class)

so during maths i met lucy, edward and i guess i kinda met sago there too

in stats i met rob and carol... and lucy and sago were also in this class.

in psyc i met alethia in my 2203 lab... didn't really meet anyone in 2212, although i did have some good intro convos with a few... the friendship never followed through. and in my lectures i had like christine, david and gab already haha.

oh and then you get the people you meet through other people or through other ways like unimentor...

like i met quite a few of christine's friends this semester too

but anyways, the point of this post was to say that i guess it was good that i did units that i didn't know anyone else was doing, because it provided me the opportunity to venture out and meet new people and make new friends, which i otherwise might not have bothered doing.

but yeah it really helps heapss, makes it easier to pick groups for group assignments, to be able to ask each other for help on stuff we don't understand, and just for the company in class or during breaks.

so now i just gotta focus on owning exams =)

he's my best friend.

i can tell him what i think about things. i can tell him what i think he should do. i can warn him of the consequences. i can threaten him. i can throw pillows at him. i can give him evil stares. i can remind him of what's right. i can send him countless txt messages. i can shake my head at him. i can write him letters, cards, emails.

but i can't live his life for him. i can't make his decisions for him. i can't make him do the things that i tell him to.

i just wish he would see what i see.

christine's wonderful parallel parking at harbor town 

(i shouldn't tease her, because mines probably just as bad)

this was the day she got a parking fine at 4:27pm :( because it was restricted parking area from 4:15pm - 6:30pm

gab and i trying on sunnies in valleygirl ~ so hip...........

chris & i at uni with our nice guy / nice girl tshirts :) heart wongfu productions!

josh & i have been eating out lunch at matilda bay lately, its so pretty.

the sky, after a day at work

dropped by nigs church for his yg then went out to eat after 

(notice he's wearing my ring ahaha, so he can match with josh foreveRrrrrrrr. he couldn't take it off too ahaha.)

he made me eat the chilli. i almost died.

dropped by the french cafe thingo near uni with lucy (from my maths class) inbetween class

had a choc eclair and a hot choc

oh and did you hear someone died in mirrabooka? kinda sad really =(

oh and i got pulled up by the cops while driving nigs car back from dinner, and i was totally freaking out cauz i didnt have p plates up. but found out they weren't pulling me up - they were just telling me to uturn because the road was blocked xD....... but then i stalled in front of them =(... and they laughed at me.

the end. for now =)

when i was ordering 2 bacon deluxes however, i forgot to ask for one without cheese.. and chris hates such cheese... so as you can see, he resorted to scrapiing it all off with a spoon. two layers of it haha.

got some pretty decent study done in teaching room 2 (after getting kicked out of a study room we didn't book...) ahhh the world of stats..

by the time we took a break, kongs and even the japanese place was closed... so ended up getting my green tea icecream from the university asian restaurant. it actually wasn't too bad... pretty pricey though, $4.50! but for two scoops.. i guess it is more than the lil tubs... it was just kinda icey.

so far the one from kongs is the best :)

here is a list of places i've gone in the past week while my parents were away

- alan's housewarming

- lifegroup @ aarons

- easter dinner @ josh fu's

- lil caeser & san churros with timmie

- easter dinner at bf's hse

- the movies - Greenzone

- 2 fat indians with louis, nick, etc... on their fooding day

- epic espresso with zin and ange

- korean bbq with ry varn linda & cat

- the maze in bullsbrook for av's 19th

- yoty state finals in melville

oh and chuck in a few treks to uni to attempt to study.

so yes, a very jam packed busy and tiring study break. with i must admit, too much going out, too much spending and too much eating

and definately not enough studying.

i'm screwed...

as my sister will happily blurt out, i'm not very good with food.

not to say that i don't appreciate food, but i'm not into fancy gourmet stuff...

and i'm quite happy with a bacon deluxe from hjs... or a steak from hogs breath.

so there are still many food places i haven't been (which usually become more apparent when louis names a list of food places and i'm like "whats that?" "where's that?")

so yesterday i went to lil caesars for the first time (.. shuddup! haha) and san churros in leedy...

i've heard of them both before from louis and nig, but never found the time to go..

so off i went with timmie and my sister.. to experience this 'so good' food

excuse my not so good phone camera (another reason why i should get the jet!)

anyways. the pizza was good. although i didn't like the pumpkin, sundried tomatos and onion. and the churros was nice too except reallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy chocolatey. esp the "hot and cold" drink i got, it was like drinking diluted yogo (no joke!)

must go try this alfresco place louis and tim talk about.. oh and jus burgers too... i like burgers.

that is all.

my apoligies for the lack of posts

farwell my lovers

sugarcoating.

the boy has this proposal all planned out, and finally one morning (which just happened to be valentines day) proposes to his girlfriend. he rocks up to work so happy, so excited, so ready to tell all his workmates and friends the good news. and they're all surprised that she said yes. they really weren't expecting it.

later in the movie, he drops by home to leave her a box with the most beautiful flower on the bed as a surprise... only to see her still at home, and not at work... with suitcases half filled with her clothes. she's not ready for commitment. and they break up that day.

the thing is, as the movie progresses, he finds out that his closest friends were expecting that. his best friend didn't think she was the right girl for him. yet none of these friends told him. none of his friends was honest with their opinion. and he ended up getting his heart broken.

so a part of me just thinks to myself... how important good friends are.

you know. good friends. not just the nice friends, that hug you and pat you on the back, and make you feel good about yourself... but the ones who are honest with you. the ones who go beyond niceness, but rather, help you to see things you may not see, or pull you out of trouble.

but then i wonder... if his best friend had told him what she thought about their relationship... would he have listened? it would hurt a lot wouldn't it? would he stop and think before proposing. or make excuses like 'ohhh she just doesn't want me to be with her because she's scared of losing me as a friend" and not stop to think tof maybe the other reasons why she doesn't.

you know, friends are there to support you through anything right? but i don't think that should mean not confronting.

if my best mate was about to make a decision that i thought was a bad one. i wouldn't be okay with just letting him do so. i would confront him about it. talk to him about it. tell him why i see things this way. and question his way of seeing the situation. i wouldn't just let him make a decision that i percieved as a mistake. and there is no doubt that at times i will be wrong and he will be right. but at least he ends up thinking more about it.

and you know, its that kinda honestly that differs being good to being nice.

but if he chooses to ignore my advice and make his decision. thats fine. i may not support his decision. but i will still support him as a friend, and i will still be there for him every step of the way, if he falls, and if he doesn't.

i guess this doesn't apply to everyone. i've realized people percieve friends differently. josh and chris require a certain level of constant and consistent contact to be deemed as friends... where as i, if the relationship is already established, as long as i feel like i can approach them and tell them my problems, then they're still my friends.

people will have different definitions for a good friend. but mine goes along the lines of... if i were about to make a bad decision. and they saw it. and they felt that it was bad. they'd say something. they'd tell me. or even if it was just something i asked them. they would be honest. they would tell me the truth.

and you know. sometimes hearing the truth hurts. and sometimes its not as appreciated as nice-ness is. which is why many just prefer to be nice.

my boyfriend stopped putting effort into seeing each other during the first few days of uni. i understood that he was busy and had work to do, and that was cool. because i value education too. and i want him to study.

but when we did get the opportunity to meet up, we weren't really meeting up. timmie thinks it was a miscommunication issue. josh thinks it was a misinterpretation issue.

it sounds pretty silly. but basically when he said that he'd meet me at 2, i wasn't expecting to spend the next hour sitting next to him in the library while he did his assignment, then following him and his friends to print stuff. i totally understand if he has work to do, but in a sense i just wish he had told me he did, so i could have done other things like meet up with other people etc. i guess i just wasn't expecting what i ended up getting.

we sorta got in a mini fight, and looking back it sounds pretty stupid (geez, teeeeeeeenagers) but i asked him if he just felt he had to see me to make me happy. i asked him why it seemed like he wasn't putting any effort in. i asked him if he even looks forward to seeing me like he use to.

and you know. the truth hurts. and at that time, i was soo upset. so annoyed. so angry.

but he was honest. and i appreciate that. i appreciate that he had the guts to tell me the truth and not sugarcoat it.

so when i was talking to david today, he got quite annoyed that josh would say such things. he said something along the lines of like, if a pregnant women asks you if she's fat, do you say yes?

haha. and you know i found myself defending josh. no matter how hurt i had felt that day, he was being honest. he was being truthful. and from there, at least we could work on things, we could work on our relationship.

otherwise, i would never know the truth. and eventually, i think it would wear a relationship down. when you keep that sorta stuff to yourself. at least we can look at us, and go... okay, we're like this. what happened? how do we fix it? how do we work through this together?

and you know. if i think about it, over the past year, my boyfriend has been the one to ask the questions no one else is brave enough to ask. 

for example. i don't get into med. second year in a row now. im devo. everyone tells me that it's okay. that there's always next year. he's the only one who asks me if i'm still sure that it's what i want, if it's right for me.

sure, sometimes he has horrific timing, and it doens't always come across nicely... and a majority of the time i don't take it too well.

but like the guy in Valentine's Day... who's best friend didn't tell him what she thought about the proposal...

i don't want to have to look him in the eye and ask him whyy he didn't tell me what he thought when i still could have done something about it.

the honesty hurts. but i think i'm learning to appreciate it more.

i think i get it now

we both have friends.

and i know that i could tell my closest friends anything i wanted

but when it comes down to more than just whats happening, when it comes down to feelings and emotions...

the truth is that i don't want to confide in anyone else but him.

maybe it's because they won't understand like he will...

they won't respond, comfort, support, encourage, like he will...

i haven't broken that superificial comfort barrier with a lot of people yet. you know the kind where they just pat you on the back. or take you out for icecream when you're down... rather than hold you as you cry and just listen to you babble. the comfort barrier, it's still there with many. it's not their fault. i've very rarely opened up enough to anyone like that to be able to break it to start with.

even with my best friend. it still takes a night out with icecream or waffles before we actually get to real 'talking about the actual issue' bit

where as he... he confides in his friends every day. 

maybe he's broken past that superficial barrier, if not, at least more so that i. if he needed to cry to someone or have someone pray for him, i rekon he'd have at least one or two friends he could call.

where as me? he'd would be the only one i wouldn't hesitate to call. doesn't help if i'm crying over him to start with though.

and so, as much as i love my best friend, i would still hesitate. because i don't think my best friend would know how to deal with a crying girl on the phone. i don't think many people would. it's not the best thing to put someone through.

the worst bit is that, if i lose that comfort in confiding in him, if i begin to hesitate before contacting him. i'm sorta left... with noone. obviously my fault, because i should break that superficial barrier with people. 

so today, i had my emo phase.because i felt like i couldn't talk to him. that i did begin to hesitate... and then... ... it was like... i had no one to call.

was bit of a reality check. time to break some superficial comfort barriers maybe? or find out why i lost that comfort in confiding in him, and fix it...

i am not particularly happy that when you organise something to be on a particular date to accomodate for someones timetable, and they say they're coming, but don't end up coming, without any notice for really pathetic reasons, and don't even let us know they're not coming, until WE call them.

disorganised people fustrate me.

uber rude.