Saturday, August 21, 2010
♥ the truth
what is better...a lie that draws a smile...
or a truth that draws a tear???
- Unknown
in theory, a truth that draws a tear...
...
....... but it hurts.
its easy to believe someone
when they’re telling you
exactly what you wanna hear
- Unknown
when they’re telling you
exactly what you wanna hear
- Unknown
... and hard to believe someone
when they're telling you exactly
what you don't want to hear.
No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it,
eventually the lies fall away.
Whether we like it or not.
But here's the truth about the truth.
It hurts. So we lie
- Greys Anatomy
- Greys Anatomy
i should be more appreciative that you don't think this way.
that you don't lie. that you are honest. and that i can trust you be honest.
and that you are patient. that this time you tried to be gentle.
but what can i say? it still hurts.
and when i hurt i get defensive.
and i begin to close myself in. and block everything out.
the truth is like a dagger to the heart.
sharp. and painful.
- dt
especially when that truth attacks you and your character.
and is a reflection of people's perceptions... how they see you
how they see a very stupid you.
2:24 AM
Monday, March 1, 2010
♥ sugarcoating & honesty
sugarcoating.
talking to david today, and sharing with him what happened to me last week, made me think about a few things...
do you prefer a sugarcoated reality, or the truth?
take a moment to just think about what kind of friends you have.
are they the ones who would stop you and make you rethink making a decision that they see as bad?
or would they just have this feeling that its a bad decision, but are too scared to approach you about it.
it kinda makes me think about the movie 'valentines day'.
the boy has this proposal all planned out, and finally one morning (which just happened to be valentines day) proposes to his girlfriend. he rocks up to work so happy, so excited, so ready to tell all his workmates and friends the good news. and they're all surprised that she said yes. they really weren't expecting it.
later in the movie, he drops by home to leave her a box with the most beautiful flower on the bed as a surprise... only to see her still at home, and not at work... with suitcases half filled with her clothes. she's not ready for commitment. and they break up that day.
the thing is, as the movie progresses, he finds out that his closest friends were expecting that. his best friend didn't think she was the right girl for him. yet none of these friends told him. none of his friends was honest with their opinion. and he ended up getting his heart broken.
so a part of me just thinks to myself... how important good friends are.
you know. good friends. not just the nice friends, that hug you and pat you on the back, and make you feel good about yourself... but the ones who are honest with you. the ones who go beyond niceness, but rather, help you to see things you may not see, or pull you out of trouble.
but then i wonder... if his best friend had told him what she thought about their relationship... would he have listened? it would hurt a lot wouldn't it? would he stop and think before proposing. or make excuses like 'ohhh she just doesn't want me to be with her because she's scared of losing me as a friend" and not stop to think tof maybe the other reasons why she doesn't.
you know, friends are there to support you through anything right? but i don't think that should mean not confronting.
if my best mate was about to make a decision that i thought was a bad one. i wouldn't be okay with just letting him do so. i would confront him about it. talk to him about it. tell him why i see things this way. and question his way of seeing the situation. i wouldn't just let him make a decision that i percieved as a mistake. and there is no doubt that at times i will be wrong and he will be right. but at least he ends up thinking more about it.
and you know, its that kinda honestly that differs being good to being nice.
but if he chooses to ignore my advice and make his decision. thats fine. i may not support his decision. but i will still support him as a friend, and i will still be there for him every step of the way, if he falls, and if he doesn't.
i guess this doesn't apply to everyone. i've realized people percieve friends differently. josh and chris require a certain level of constant and consistent contact to be deemed as friends... where as i, if the relationship is already established, as long as i feel like i can approach them and tell them my problems, then they're still my friends.
people will have different definitions for a good friend. but mine goes along the lines of... if i were about to make a bad decision. and they saw it. and they felt that it was bad. they'd say something. they'd tell me. or even if it was just something i asked them. they would be honest. they would tell me the truth.
and you know. sometimes hearing the truth hurts. and sometimes its not as appreciated as nice-ness is. which is why many just prefer to be nice.
my boyfriend stopped putting effort into seeing each other during the first few days of uni. i understood that he was busy and had work to do, and that was cool. because i value education too. and i want him to study.
but when we did get the opportunity to meet up, we weren't really meeting up. timmie thinks it was a miscommunication issue. josh thinks it was a misinterpretation issue.
it sounds pretty silly. but basically when he said that he'd meet me at 2, i wasn't expecting to spend the next hour sitting next to him in the library while he did his assignment, then following him and his friends to print stuff. i totally understand if he has work to do, but in a sense i just wish he had told me he did, so i could have done other things like meet up with other people etc. i guess i just wasn't expecting what i ended up getting.
we sorta got in a mini fight, and looking back it sounds pretty stupid (geez, teeeeeeeenagers) but i asked him if he just felt he had to see me to make me happy. i asked him why it seemed like he wasn't putting any effort in. i asked him if he even looks forward to seeing me like he use to.
and you know. the truth hurts. and at that time, i was soo upset. so annoyed. so angry.
but he was honest. and i appreciate that. i appreciate that he had the guts to tell me the truth and not sugarcoat it.
so when i was talking to david today, he got quite annoyed that josh would say such things. he said something along the lines of like, if a pregnant women asks you if she's fat, do you say yes?
haha. and you know i found myself defending josh. no matter how hurt i had felt that day, he was being honest. he was being truthful. and from there, at least we could work on things, we could work on our relationship.
otherwise, i would never know the truth. and eventually, i think it would wear a relationship down. when you keep that sorta stuff to yourself. at least we can look at us, and go... okay, we're like this. what happened? how do we fix it? how do we work through this together?
and you know. if i think about it, over the past year, my boyfriend has been the one to ask the questions no one else is brave enough to ask.
for example. i don't get into med. second year in a row now. im devo. everyone tells me that it's okay. that there's always next year. he's the only one who asks me if i'm still sure that it's what i want, if it's right for me.
sure, sometimes he has horrific timing, and it doens't always come across nicely... and a majority of the time i don't take it too well.
but like the guy in Valentine's Day... who's best friend didn't tell him what she thought about the proposal...
i don't want to have to look him in the eye and ask him whyy he didn't tell me what he thought when i still could have done something about it.
the honesty hurts. but i think i'm learning to appreciate it more.
Labels: boyfriend, friends, honesty, movies, relationships
12:04 AM
Monday, August 10, 2009
♥ read my mind
there are certain things that i value.
certain things that i want.
certain things that are important to me.
the world doesn't revolve around me. i dont always get what i want. i usually get upset or angry at those who stand in the way of what i want...
it's hard to understand me sometimes. i know it must be. some of the time i put up with things, despite not being happy about it. content, maybe. dissapointed, maybe. but you dont always get the things u want. things dont always go the way u want.
i wonder if people knew what made other people upset. if they knew what they wanted. or their preferences or whatever... that they understood everything about that person completely to the point that person would never be upset. but then again, people can't read minds. and if they did, they might end up disappointed or discontent because they themselves will give up things for the happiness of others.
so really, its not possible. to read minds. unless ur some superhero with cool powers.
in reality. we need to just be honest i guess.
but sometimes i wish someone could just read my mind. or maybe just pick it up with some common sense. to save me from having to be honest. because its not easy.
when you say something. it kinda turns into a bigger deal. it's not as suttle. and idk sometimes i just feel stupid for being honest. because i think that sometimes its just... obvious. maybe even logical.
spare me the trouble. read my mind. thanks.
certain things that i want.
certain things that are important to me.
the world doesn't revolve around me. i dont always get what i want. i usually get upset or angry at those who stand in the way of what i want...
it's hard to understand me sometimes. i know it must be. some of the time i put up with things, despite not being happy about it. content, maybe. dissapointed, maybe. but you dont always get the things u want. things dont always go the way u want.
i wonder if people knew what made other people upset. if they knew what they wanted. or their preferences or whatever... that they understood everything about that person completely to the point that person would never be upset. but then again, people can't read minds. and if they did, they might end up disappointed or discontent because they themselves will give up things for the happiness of others.
so really, its not possible. to read minds. unless ur some superhero with cool powers.
in reality. we need to just be honest i guess.
but sometimes i wish someone could just read my mind. or maybe just pick it up with some common sense. to save me from having to be honest. because its not easy.when you say something. it kinda turns into a bigger deal. it's not as suttle. and idk sometimes i just feel stupid for being honest. because i think that sometimes its just... obvious. maybe even logical.
spare me the trouble. read my mind. thanks.
Labels: anger, honesty, life, random, relationships
12:04 AM
