Well I was cleaning up my room today.. in preparation for the start on uni tomorrow...

and I came across my "I Will..." pack from Mission Conference mid last year...


And so I came across my "next step" pledge slip...

1. Sponsor a child
2. Go on a short term mission trip in the next 12 months (VWAP?)
3. Complete a KAIROS course
4. Read a TEAR publication



and it was nice to see that I could finally tick off everything that I had pledged to do...

So what's my next step?

Well, I know I'm starting first year med this year.. but I want to make the most of it - I want to remain active in my community... but how about MISSIONS?

I see myself on a mission trip in the future - as a doctor... but thats AT LEAST another 6 years!

But how about now? I may not be able to go.. but I can pray.. I can grow... I can give...

I know as I become more involved in Oaktree this year, that I will become better trained, equipped, skilled at some things... I know as I become a medical student, my eyes will be opened up to the the reality facing many...

and what else...?

I'm not sure yet!

x. i'm still trying to get my head around the fact that people are wired differently when it comes to mission. something i picked up when speaking to timmie about it. i guess because i'm just so "passionate" about it that i've never really seen why you wouldn't be. it's something that's starting to open my eyes to the many different perspectives of missions.

x. i think it's sad that very close friends can be that one day, and distant the next. i understand some people are scared of becoming too close... but then if you become so cautious about it, you end up distancing yourself so much that you kinda let go - and you end up losing on something that you once use to value so very much. i know it's not easy to find that happy medium, but i think its possible and i think you should have at least tried or maybe even not let go that easily.

x. the first kairos course session was pretty intro-ish. tbh i wasn't too sure about this course at first. but i guess this year is more about learning and growing for me, so it was really perfect timing. i'm hoping the book / content is really good, because so far the old school videos and odd humar are slightly off putting (just slightly)

x. i'm still behind in a lot of note taking and uni work. but i guess it's worked  out really well because my hours at work have been superly cut down due to the new manager (i am pretty sure he doesn't like me) and i have more time to study / do uni work... it's not like i need the money anyways so it does bother me much

x. what kind of person do you want people to know you as? i ask you that because my mate is becoming increasingly known for his 'party-ish' behaviour. and i think that makes me slightly sad because i see him in a totally different way and i know (at least i think i do) the real him, not just that superficial party-goer. and to know that people are beginning to percieve him in this other way... i guess it just makes me think like, by giving him more attention and even 'fame' almost, it's almost like encouraging it? because i mean, who doesn't want attention? but to me, it just feels like attention for the wrong reasons :( but it's really hard to show that i care, without him pushing me away.

x. chris has been my study buddy for practically the whole year. which i guess is odd almost because we don't even do the same course. but i guess we kinda have the same work ethic, with the whole trying to get into medicine thing. most of my friends who do my course either don't rock up to lectures half the time, or don't really feel the need to study as hard? i don't know. but it's been good knowing i have someone that i can study with like everyday, and by that i mean like reallyyyy study and not get distracted easily and end up talking etc lol.

x. speaking of study, this year i seem a lot more focused and less cruisey about uni, assignments, exams etc. i think last year i was still kinda in the flukey stage of things, where i would rely on my natural ability or logic or even last minute cramming, where as this year i really am trying to be better and hopefully do the best that i can.

x. i'm finding it slightly difficult to get out of bed in the mornings lately. i think i'm overdoing it, physically. uni during the day, stuff on at night. i haven't been resting my body much. and i just can't seem to pull myself out of bed in the mornings despite 8 hours sleep. will need to make a valid point to rest a bit more. gonna be slightly difficult with the full on week i have upcoming though and not to mention upcoming assignments!

x. to finish, i guess what i'm starting to really notice is that what some people think as cool, i think is actually not cool. and vice versa. maybe it's because i never really gotten into the whole clubbing or partying thing. like for me, i just don't think getting trashed and hooking up etc is fun... and i just don't really get the point / benefit out of it... idk, kinda reminds me of back in year 8 and we use to think northbridge was kinda cool, go there and play some pool, drink some bubble tea and get photos at timezone and stuff like that..... and at the time that was pretty cool for us.. and after, we look at kids who do that and think to ourself "TB ALERT" etc. i guess as we get older our perspective on things change. and everyone's views on things, or ideas of having fun, or things that they care about... it's all different for each person.

so here i leave you with a pretty picture of some tulips. i was having a conversation to nathan about tulips the other day, because he was asking me what kind of flowers to get his gf and i was like TULIPS! bahaha. lovelove.