Wednesday, February 17, 2010
♥ superficial comfort barrier
i think i get it now
we both have friends.
and i know that i could tell my closest friends anything i wanted
but when it comes down to more than just whats happening, when it comes down to feelings and emotions...
the truth is that i don't want to confide in anyone else but him.
maybe it's because they won't understand like he will...
they won't respond, comfort, support, encourage, like he will...
i haven't broken that superificial comfort barrier with a lot of people yet. you know the kind where they just pat you on the back. or take you out for icecream when you're down... rather than hold you as you cry and just listen to you babble. the comfort barrier, it's still there with many. it's not their fault. i've very rarely opened up enough to anyone like that to be able to break it to start with.
even with my best friend. it still takes a night out with icecream or waffles before we actually get to real 'talking about the actual issue' bit
where as he... he confides in his friends every day.
maybe he's broken past that superficial barrier, if not, at least more so that i. if he needed to cry to someone or have someone pray for him, i rekon he'd have at least one or two friends he could call.
where as me? he'd would be the only one i wouldn't hesitate to call. doesn't help if i'm crying over him to start with though.
and so, as much as i love my best friend, i would still hesitate. because i don't think my best friend would know how to deal with a crying girl on the phone. i don't think many people would. it's not the best thing to put someone through.
the worst bit is that, if i lose that comfort in confiding in him, if i begin to hesitate before contacting him. i'm sorta left... with noone. obviously my fault, because i should break that superficial barrier with people.
so today, i had my emo phase.because i felt like i couldn't talk to him. that i did begin to hesitate... and then... ... it was like... i had no one to call.
was bit of a reality check. time to break some superficial comfort barriers maybe? or find out why i lost that comfort in confiding in him, and fix it...
Labels: boyfriend, emo, emotions, friends, relationships
12:18 AM
