Wednesday, October 7, 2009
♥ random rambling
i got my secondary education in australia.
to those, outside of australia, it seems like i've got a solid education foundation.
to those who live around my suburbs, they hear the name of my school, and think otherwise.
buildings are made to have a song foundation. structures are built to be strong. and it isn't until it begins to collapse, that you realize the foundation wasn't as strong as you thought.
the tacoma narrow bridge collapsed due to the drastic wind causing the structure to resonate.
or maybe you own a house.. and when the storms come.. your fence collapses. your windows shatter to pieces. maybe the roof even caves in. your home. your safe place. collapses. it wasn't as strong as you thought. staying in that house, may harm you rather than protecting you like you thought it would.
when you pay good money for a pair of shoes, you expect quality. you may even have this illusion that they are, until you begin to wear them out, and realize, what you thought were good shoes, were in fact crap.
or maybe you get conned into one of those infomericals. the ones that sell you this and that for three payments of $29.95. the demo looks so good. you even get a 30 day trial period where you can return it if it doesn't work. for that first month it's great. then it's quality seems to get dimmer. you notice the cheaper stores beginning to sell imitations of the same product and begin to think that they could probably potentially do the same job. and it is then you realized u got jipped.
so why? why are things never like you imagined it would be? why do things change so rapidly? why are we often in this illusion where you think you have the strongest foundation and the perfect pair of shoes... when really it's nothing like you thought you had?
and WHY do i have to have a test in 13 hours and another 24 hours after that. gah.
P.S. music has been added to this blog, and i have purposely made it so you can't stop it unless u mute ur speakers. sooo... happy listening!
P.S. music has been added to this blog, and i have purposely made it so you can't stop it unless u mute ur speakers. sooo... happy listening!
Labels: expectations, life, random, shoes, uni
12:30 AM
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
♥ A Celebration of Young Women - Zonta Gala Dinner
Today I returned to the Zonta Club of the Perth Northern Suburbs, as last years club winner of the Young Women in Public Affairs Award for 2008, and this years International District 23 winner =)
You know, when I found out I had won International Districts, my heart slightly fell, as I felt that I didn't deserve it... that I wasn't good enough for it. I was scared of returning back to the club - I wasn't sure what I was going to say. It kinda felt like "Hey! Thanks for picking me as your winner and giving me great prizes and $1k... and yeah you know all that stuff i said about wanting to become a doctor, i still want to. I just sorta failed last year. So I guess you guys picked a failure for your winner...But hey! It's all good."
I could have wrote a speech, on simply what they asked - my experiences over the past year. I could have chosen not to go deeper. I could have even covered up by saying that I want to do post grad med. andd.. i want my degree in psyc first. But the truth is I missed the mark. I wasn't good enough.
I actually wrote this speech in the car... on the way home from uni... the day I had to present it. So excuse the bad english, grammer etc... But I feel it captures feelings that I don't often share, yet have felt in the past year.
Happy Reading
s2 ditz
Good Evening Ladies & Gentleman
A year ago I stood here and gave a talk on my role model, Doctor Fiona Woods. This amazing mother of six impacted the lives of many. She changed lives. She made a difference. She made her footprint on this world count. It is no wonder why she was named the most trusted person. She’s simple amazing.
As I stand here today, I think of the women who have stood before me, here, at this very podium. And probably shared stories of success, inspiration and accomplishment. Rarely do we hear the stories of failure, setbacks and complications.
When people think of Dr Fiona Woods, they see strong, trusted, highly recognised and inspirational woman. We rarely hear of the days where she might have woke up to a crying child at 1am in the morning, and wondered how she was going to wake up again at 5 to get to work in time. We rarely hear of those days where a careless mistake may have set her back weeks in medical research.
I think we all reach points of our lives, where things do not go the way we had originally planned. To be honest, I am at that point. But let me share with you my story. My story of perseverance, in hope that I can encourage every single one of you. And maybe even challenge you.
I have a heart for helping people. It is my passion. My dream is to become a doctor. To be able to travel to third world countries and make my footprint in this world. To then come back and stabilize my career as a paediatrician, while starting my own family.
September, last year I received my results for the UMAT, the undergraduate medicine admission test, and found out that I had fell short of the top fifteen percentile I needed to secure an interview. This meant that I was unable to get into undergraduate medicine for 2009.
When I received my TEE results, I had to make a choice. I couldn’t do medicine because of my UMAT score. But I had the marks to pursue a degree in Engineering or Law. This was a big hurdle for me. My dreams had not completely shattered, but it was certainly not going the way I had hoped or even planned. I had to ask myself if I could spend the rest of my life doing something that I may have had the brainability to, but didn’t have the heart for.
The answer to that was no. I couldn’t let go of my dreams. I had to change my perception, and I had to start seeing this situation not as a dead end but as an obstacle - a setback. And just simply that. My dreams on hold. But not shattered.
Six Months ago I began my first year of university, doing a Bachelor of Science at UWA. My first challenge was finding my first class, which was probably purposely placed on the other side of campus, just to confuse us first year students. My next challenge was too understand my lecturer despite his very strong accent... and the challenge after that? Probably staying awake in those lectures.
Okay, I’m only joking. I have some fantastic lecturers, some better than others, but I have realized how important my high school teachers were on my schooling life. Teachers, who would encourage you, support you and help you. This of course is slightly harder for lecturers in university, especially when you have eight hundred psychology students in one class.
The past six months have had its challenges. I’ve had to make some very important decisions. Like deciding to get up in the cold morning with no daylight savings to wait at the bus stop at 6:45am to get to uni in time for my 8am class. Or... sleeping in and listening to my lecture online in the comfort of my nice warm bed. Technology is amazing really. And you really learn to appreciate it once you hit Uni.
On a more serious note. Exactly one week ago, I retook the UMAT, in hope to secure an interview for one of the fifteen places UWA offers non high school leavers for its undergraduate medicine course.
For those who are not familiar with the UMAT, it is not a science or medical based test that you can study for. It contains Logical reasoning, Problem Solving, Non-Verbal reasoning... things that you can’t study for. I can happily say that this year I went into that exam room more prepared than I did last year, and I came out of that exam room a lot more confident than last year. I won’t know the results til another month or so down the track... nor will I find out if I got one of those fifteen spots til end of this year... but I do know that despite what happens, I will get there one day. However long it may take.
Every day is a new day. Everyday has its own challenges. Some are new challenges... Last Friday, I saw my first cadaver. At 2 o’clock this afternoon, I dissected a pig’s heart in my human biology lab. Some are not so new challenges.... like staying awake in class or deciphering the scribble your lecturer leaves on the board...
Today I challenge you to follow your dreams. To persevere. To not give up.
It sounds cliché... I know. But if Dr Fiona Woods decided to give up that day she had a setback in her medical research... what would have happened to the hundreds of people wounded in the Bali Bombings in 2002.
Everyone will have their setbacks in life. But I urge you not to let turn your setback into a dead end.
And who knows... in a few years time, maybe I’ll be able to return to this very podium, and share with you my story of success. Inspiration. And accomplishment.
Thankyou
You know, when I found out I had won International Districts, my heart slightly fell, as I felt that I didn't deserve it... that I wasn't good enough for it. I was scared of returning back to the club - I wasn't sure what I was going to say. It kinda felt like "Hey! Thanks for picking me as your winner and giving me great prizes and $1k... and yeah you know all that stuff i said about wanting to become a doctor, i still want to. I just sorta failed last year. So I guess you guys picked a failure for your winner...But hey! It's all good."
I could have wrote a speech, on simply what they asked - my experiences over the past year. I could have chosen not to go deeper. I could have even covered up by saying that I want to do post grad med. andd.. i want my degree in psyc first. But the truth is I missed the mark. I wasn't good enough.
I actually wrote this speech in the car... on the way home from uni... the day I had to present it. So excuse the bad english, grammer etc... But I feel it captures feelings that I don't often share, yet have felt in the past year.
Happy Reading
s2 ditz
Good Evening Ladies & Gentleman
A year ago I stood here and gave a talk on my role model, Doctor Fiona Woods. This amazing mother of six impacted the lives of many. She changed lives. She made a difference. She made her footprint on this world count. It is no wonder why she was named the most trusted person. She’s simple amazing.
As I stand here today, I think of the women who have stood before me, here, at this very podium. And probably shared stories of success, inspiration and accomplishment. Rarely do we hear the stories of failure, setbacks and complications.
When people think of Dr Fiona Woods, they see strong, trusted, highly recognised and inspirational woman. We rarely hear of the days where she might have woke up to a crying child at 1am in the morning, and wondered how she was going to wake up again at 5 to get to work in time. We rarely hear of those days where a careless mistake may have set her back weeks in medical research.
I think we all reach points of our lives, where things do not go the way we had originally planned. To be honest, I am at that point. But let me share with you my story. My story of perseverance, in hope that I can encourage every single one of you. And maybe even challenge you.
I have a heart for helping people. It is my passion. My dream is to become a doctor. To be able to travel to third world countries and make my footprint in this world. To then come back and stabilize my career as a paediatrician, while starting my own family.
September, last year I received my results for the UMAT, the undergraduate medicine admission test, and found out that I had fell short of the top fifteen percentile I needed to secure an interview. This meant that I was unable to get into undergraduate medicine for 2009.
When I received my TEE results, I had to make a choice. I couldn’t do medicine because of my UMAT score. But I had the marks to pursue a degree in Engineering or Law. This was a big hurdle for me. My dreams had not completely shattered, but it was certainly not going the way I had hoped or even planned. I had to ask myself if I could spend the rest of my life doing something that I may have had the brainability to, but didn’t have the heart for.
The answer to that was no. I couldn’t let go of my dreams. I had to change my perception, and I had to start seeing this situation not as a dead end but as an obstacle - a setback. And just simply that. My dreams on hold. But not shattered.
Six Months ago I began my first year of university, doing a Bachelor of Science at UWA. My first challenge was finding my first class, which was probably purposely placed on the other side of campus, just to confuse us first year students. My next challenge was too understand my lecturer despite his very strong accent... and the challenge after that? Probably staying awake in those lectures.
Okay, I’m only joking. I have some fantastic lecturers, some better than others, but I have realized how important my high school teachers were on my schooling life. Teachers, who would encourage you, support you and help you. This of course is slightly harder for lecturers in university, especially when you have eight hundred psychology students in one class.
The past six months have had its challenges. I’ve had to make some very important decisions. Like deciding to get up in the cold morning with no daylight savings to wait at the bus stop at 6:45am to get to uni in time for my 8am class. Or... sleeping in and listening to my lecture online in the comfort of my nice warm bed. Technology is amazing really. And you really learn to appreciate it once you hit Uni.
On a more serious note. Exactly one week ago, I retook the UMAT, in hope to secure an interview for one of the fifteen places UWA offers non high school leavers for its undergraduate medicine course.
For those who are not familiar with the UMAT, it is not a science or medical based test that you can study for. It contains Logical reasoning, Problem Solving, Non-Verbal reasoning... things that you can’t study for. I can happily say that this year I went into that exam room more prepared than I did last year, and I came out of that exam room a lot more confident than last year. I won’t know the results til another month or so down the track... nor will I find out if I got one of those fifteen spots til end of this year... but I do know that despite what happens, I will get there one day. However long it may take.
Every day is a new day. Everyday has its own challenges. Some are new challenges... Last Friday, I saw my first cadaver. At 2 o’clock this afternoon, I dissected a pig’s heart in my human biology lab. Some are not so new challenges.... like staying awake in class or deciphering the scribble your lecturer leaves on the board...
Today I challenge you to follow your dreams. To persevere. To not give up.
It sounds cliché... I know. But if Dr Fiona Woods decided to give up that day she had a setback in her medical research... what would have happened to the hundreds of people wounded in the Bali Bombings in 2002.
Everyone will have their setbacks in life. But I urge you not to let turn your setback into a dead end.
And who knows... in a few years time, maybe I’ll be able to return to this very podium, and share with you my story of success. Inspiration. And accomplishment.
Thankyou
Labels: expectations, high school, medicine, umat, uni, zonta
11:25 PM
Monday, June 22, 2009
♥ doing your best. it's all i want you to expect.
it's really hard sometimes, as a kid.
your parents have expectations for you, and often those expectations end up being your own too.
when you realize that you can't meet those expectations, its so much harder for your parents to realize this.
for me, my expectations have changed... from getting the results i wanted, to doing the best i can.
at times i will not get the results i want... but if i know that i've done the best, then thats all that matters.
its really difficult when parent's don't expect your best, but rather, expect the results...
yesterday morning i got an earful from my parents about umat prep, and i tried to remain calm... my dad throws lines like "are you going to pass this time?" in such a tone... it gets to me.
the thing is, that i can't say that i will. its not like its an easy choice i can make. i wish that rather he would say "do your best"... because really, no one's heart broke more than mine, when i found out that i didn't do well enough last year.
it's not like i didn't want it. it's not like i didn't regret not working harder. and it's not like i purposely went out to fail just to waste my parents money.
it hurt me, and it still does... but i don't think my parents understand that. otherwise they wouldn't be throwing such comments at me - in an attempt to make me feel guilty? idk, but it doesn't help, it doesn't make me do any better, in fact it just makes me feel like crap... and makes things worse.
anyways, i tried telling my dad this - i need him to be more encouraging and to tell me to do my best, not "to pass" because it doesn't help when he says things like that. i sat down as he was washing the dishes, but i ended up in tears, and being my dad, he's not very good with dealing with crying daughters, and kept changing the subject etc...
but really. its my dream. i want it so badly.
but all i can do, is my best.
your parents have expectations for you, and often those expectations end up being your own too.
when you realize that you can't meet those expectations, its so much harder for your parents to realize this.
for me, my expectations have changed... from getting the results i wanted, to doing the best i can.
at times i will not get the results i want... but if i know that i've done the best, then thats all that matters.
its really difficult when parent's don't expect your best, but rather, expect the results...
yesterday morning i got an earful from my parents about umat prep, and i tried to remain calm... my dad throws lines like "are you going to pass this time?" in such a tone... it gets to me.
the thing is, that i can't say that i will. its not like its an easy choice i can make. i wish that rather he would say "do your best"... because really, no one's heart broke more than mine, when i found out that i didn't do well enough last year.
it's not like i didn't want it. it's not like i didn't regret not working harder. and it's not like i purposely went out to fail just to waste my parents money.
it hurt me, and it still does... but i don't think my parents understand that. otherwise they wouldn't be throwing such comments at me - in an attempt to make me feel guilty? idk, but it doesn't help, it doesn't make me do any better, in fact it just makes me feel like crap... and makes things worse.
anyways, i tried telling my dad this - i need him to be more encouraging and to tell me to do my best, not "to pass" because it doesn't help when he says things like that. i sat down as he was washing the dishes, but i ended up in tears, and being my dad, he's not very good with dealing with crying daughters, and kept changing the subject etc...
but really. its my dream. i want it so badly.
but all i can do, is my best.
... and the tears keep flowing
9:36 PM
