Wednesday, December 1, 2010
♥ given up on the novelty aspect
for my eighteenth birthday my boyfriend wrote me 30 letters (one for everyday of a month), with over 30 000 words in total... he also made a me a photo album of the many photos we had taken (despite having dated for less than three months, we had quite a lot of photos together)
this afternoon i went to the city with allan who was trying to find a present for his girlfriend. such sweet and creative ideas he had (and they had been dating for nearly as long as josh and i have)... and it kinda made me feel bad for not even thinking of what i should buy josh for christmas...
so then i started stressing. and then thinking maybe i should do this. maybe i should do that. after an hour i decided on something that would allow me to be a little creative. i walked around looking for someone to serve me, so i could purchase it. but everyone was busy. so i gave up, i was tired and wanted to go home... so i put it back where i got it and left.
this guy came to fix my cupboards today (because it was water damaged from the leaking bathroom pipe) and i had to move everything out of my cupboard. and so when i came home today i started to put everything back.
 | ||
| too lazy to rotate - sorry! haha |
so i felt kinda bad for giving up on the creative aspect of things. because the things he wrote was really sweet. and he put so much time and effort into it. and it was really sweet.
but i think that at the start of our relationship, it was all the novelty kinda stuff. i remember spending hours making him a pinup board with pictures or letters for him to read on his plane ride to america.
and now... now, to be honest, i can't be bothered. ohh that sounds bad (i know) haha.
like i know it's sweet and it's nice. but really, i was going to get another photo album..... to end up sitting in the cupboard... or in a box filled with letters from over the years. we've been dating (nearly) two years and we don't really take as many photos together as we use to... i mean like in the end it's our relationship that counts, not the flowers he buys me (although it's kinda sweet receiving them.......) or the things i make him... but seriously, i think i rather invest in some more practical things... especially since we don't need to win each other's hearts over anymore...
okay, i'm just attempting to make excuses......... but but I LOVE YOU!
man i'm in a really unromantic mood at the moment. i think i'm going to regret posting this haha especially because i'm just rambling. i really should stop rambling. like right now. stop. now.
6:48 PM
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
♥ i miss it.
he won my heart over...
with his long letters, sweet emails, thoughtful words.
with his funny (but oh so corny) jokes and child like happiness / excitement.
the first few months, we wanted to spend as much time as we could together, which wasn't much, circumstances permit.
he'd write me emails about how he was going to plan all these outings for us while i was on tour.
we went to the beach, on my stopover at perth during tour. we went to hillaries on vallies day. we went to freo during out long break, in the first few weeks of uni. we went ice skating before he went to america (quite last minute).
the picnic at the park never happened. nor did the mandurah trip.
but it's okay. our relationship isn't about outings. it's more than that.
but it doesn't mean i'm not disappointed.
that he no longer plans anything, and i find myself doing most of it.
that he's no longer as romantic as he was when he was winning me my heart over.
that he's content, just seeing me at the everyday things. like uni. church. and not really anywhere else.
ugh, long term relationships. because this is my longest, i will struggle with these things i think.
but i'm guessing their normal.
the novelty wears off huh? the newness. the butterfly feelings. the melting heart. the excessive bursts of joy and happiness. the heartfelt smss. the surprises. the fun teasing thats not the mean type. the focus on the how wonderful u are (and not how much u need to change). the innocent kind of fun.
i don't demand things. i don't like to. i am content. i love him.
but it doesn't mean i don't miss how it use to be. all those little things. the ones that make me feel special and loved. it's not really important huh, but i miss it anyways.
P.S. that second person on my use-to-hate list, started talking to me today. pretty cool because i wasn't sure how i was going to strike a conversation with her. but i did leave some fb comments to break the ice. and she started the convo asking help abt some uni stuff. pretty cool. thats two down so far, and i can't really think of anyone else at the moment, so thats pretttyy goood.
with his long letters, sweet emails, thoughtful words.
with his funny (but oh so corny) jokes and child like happiness / excitement.
the first few months, we wanted to spend as much time as we could together, which wasn't much, circumstances permit.
he'd write me emails about how he was going to plan all these outings for us while i was on tour.
we went to the beach, on my stopover at perth during tour. we went to hillaries on vallies day. we went to freo during out long break, in the first few weeks of uni. we went ice skating before he went to america (quite last minute).
the picnic at the park never happened. nor did the mandurah trip.
but it's okay. our relationship isn't about outings. it's more than that.
but it doesn't mean i'm not disappointed.
that he no longer plans anything, and i find myself doing most of it.
that he's no longer as romantic as he was when he was winning me my heart over.
that he's content, just seeing me at the everyday things. like uni. church. and not really anywhere else.
ugh, long term relationships. because this is my longest, i will struggle with these things i think.
but i'm guessing their normal.
the novelty wears off huh? the newness. the butterfly feelings. the melting heart. the excessive bursts of joy and happiness. the heartfelt smss. the surprises. the fun teasing thats not the mean type. the focus on the how wonderful u are (and not how much u need to change). the innocent kind of fun.
i don't demand things. i don't like to. i am content. i love him.
but it doesn't mean i don't miss how it use to be. all those little things. the ones that make me feel special and loved. it's not really important huh, but i miss it anyways.
P.S. that second person on my use-to-hate list, started talking to me today. pretty cool because i wasn't sure how i was going to strike a conversation with her. but i did leave some fb comments to break the ice. and she started the convo asking help abt some uni stuff. pretty cool. thats two down so far, and i can't really think of anyone else at the moment, so thats pretttyy goood.
Labels: boyfriend, emotions, friends, hate, love, novelty, outing, relationships
12:31 AM
Monday, December 8, 2008
♥ when the novelty fades...
so today i got my new phone =D... sony ericsson w595... gotta <3>
and yeah its cool and all.. (unfortunately there was no red/white or even black/red.. so i had to choose between the blue/lightblue or the grey/lightblue... and i ended up gettin the blue/lightblue)
so yes. its a phone!
and i kinda been thinkingg.. u know when u get something NEW... and u get all excited!
like i rmb wen we got the melz CoCo... =) the new pup! everyone was like =O!! haha its kinda like ... when u get a new phone.. or a new camera... its just so... NEW! and fun =) and facinating and interesting!
then it kinda fades away right? it becomes ordinary. normal. no longer "new".
and i think that once that fades, u begin to rely on the quality of the phone - maybe not so much every single awesome feature that u play with at first... but the things that matter. the reception... the quality of the speaker/mic... the calculator function (so u can learn to budget!)... the essentials. the basics. the purpose of the phone. does the phone fulfil its purpose? does it do what it's required to do... does it do what u NEED it to do... after that "new"ness and novelty fades away..
i think often, its kind of the same with relationships. i've heard of many relationship where the novelty fades awayy... and its just not the same anymore - or its not what u thought it would be, after all the excitedness.
but thats why i think its important to do proper research! when buying a new phone. i mean yeah a phone can have awesome features like youtube channeling or facebook photo uploading. thats cool. but its not an essential? i dont need it that much. i need to make sure i have a phone that does all the "essentials"... fulfils its purpose i guess. and i need to make sure of that - without getting carried away with all the "extra" features - as sometimes this comprises the "essential" features.. and once that novelty fades away.. im left with the essential features. so i gotta make sure the phone has those "essentials" - and has awesome reception, a good mic and speaker, and of course ;) a good calculator.
so, back to relationships. i think i've spent my life... often looking at those "extras".. i mean yeahhh extras are great. but not so much when it compromises the "essentials".
sometimes i would be like "aww man, that phone doesnt really have that great of a camera.. but its okay! its got a coool youtube channel" - where the camera is the essential. and the youtube channeling is a bonus / extra feature - unnecessary.. but cool?
anyways. i'd often be like that with people... i would compromise the essentials: christian... and no not "christian"... but christian... someone who loves God.
but i'd try to justify it.. by looking at those "extras"... those cool bits. but in the end... when the novelty fades... when i begin to look past those extras... and see the lack of the essentials.... it just doesn't cut it.
i need someone who loves God... and those extras just doesn't make up for that essential.
how many times have i made that mistake? how come it took so long for me to learn? how could i be so stupid?
at least ive learnt. i know now. im determined not to make the same mistake again.
anyways. a song just came to mind.. i keep saying when the "novelty fades".. and then i thought of when the "music fades"... the song - The Heart of Worship... =)
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
Its all about you
Jesus
and yeah its cool and all.. (unfortunately there was no red/white or even black/red.. so i had to choose between the blue/lightblue or the grey/lightblue... and i ended up gettin the blue/lightblue)
so yes. its a phone!
and i kinda been thinkingg.. u know when u get something NEW... and u get all excited!
like i rmb wen we got the melz CoCo... =) the new pup! everyone was like =O!! haha its kinda like ... when u get a new phone.. or a new camera... its just so... NEW! and fun =) and facinating and interesting!
then it kinda fades away right? it becomes ordinary. normal. no longer "new".
and i think that once that fades, u begin to rely on the quality of the phone - maybe not so much every single awesome feature that u play with at first... but the things that matter. the reception... the quality of the speaker/mic... the calculator function (so u can learn to budget!)... the essentials. the basics. the purpose of the phone. does the phone fulfil its purpose? does it do what it's required to do... does it do what u NEED it to do... after that "new"ness and novelty fades away..
i think often, its kind of the same with relationships. i've heard of many relationship where the novelty fades awayy... and its just not the same anymore - or its not what u thought it would be, after all the excitedness.
but thats why i think its important to do proper research! when buying a new phone. i mean yeah a phone can have awesome features like youtube channeling or facebook photo uploading. thats cool. but its not an essential? i dont need it that much. i need to make sure i have a phone that does all the "essentials"... fulfils its purpose i guess. and i need to make sure of that - without getting carried away with all the "extra" features - as sometimes this comprises the "essential" features.. and once that novelty fades away.. im left with the essential features. so i gotta make sure the phone has those "essentials" - and has awesome reception, a good mic and speaker, and of course ;) a good calculator.
so, back to relationships. i think i've spent my life... often looking at those "extras".. i mean yeahhh extras are great. but not so much when it compromises the "essentials".
sometimes i would be like "aww man, that phone doesnt really have that great of a camera.. but its okay! its got a coool youtube channel" - where the camera is the essential. and the youtube channeling is a bonus / extra feature - unnecessary.. but cool?
anyways. i'd often be like that with people... i would compromise the essentials: christian... and no not "christian"... but christian... someone who loves God.
but i'd try to justify it.. by looking at those "extras"... those cool bits. but in the end... when the novelty fades... when i begin to look past those extras... and see the lack of the essentials.... it just doesn't cut it.
i need someone who loves God... and those extras just doesn't make up for that essential.
how many times have i made that mistake? how come it took so long for me to learn? how could i be so stupid?
at least ive learnt. i know now. im determined not to make the same mistake again.
anyways. a song just came to mind.. i keep saying when the "novelty fades".. and then i thought of when the "music fades"... the song - The Heart of Worship... =)
When the music fades
And all is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the ways things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
King of endless worth
No one could express
How much You deserve
Though I'm weak and poor
All I have is Yours
Every single breath
I'll bring You more than just a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about You
All about You, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus
Its all about you
Jesus
Labels: life, novelty, relationships, song, w595
10:01 PM
