Saturday, May 2, 2009
♥ b g r
yesterday was the bgr session at church.
it was good. got many questions answered. but i guess some of the answers were not what i wanted to hear, but it was what i needed to hear.
man i realized i am somewhat naive!
i think one of the things that struct me the most was that sexual purity does not only equal virginity. i began to understand this thing about this slide... and it scared me that i was already on that slide and going down it. hmmm... sexual immorality... it isnt just sex.
sexual gratification by ur husband in the context of marriage.
i dont know how many times grace repeated that. haha. but it stuck. and made me think.
so as we striveeee towards sexual purity. we need to set our boundaries higher. we've realized that the boundaries we did set, were too low.
i think an important thing i picked up was "dancing around our boundaries" its not so much setting the boundaries and sticking to them, but that we always find ways to "dance" around them. to find other ways to muck around. and i think that applied so directly to us. so rather than just setting boundaries, we both need to work on striving for sexual purity, rather than just "followin the rules"
One part of the session used the analogy of pieces of sticky paper. as you begin a relationship, your piece of paper begins to stick onto the other piece of paper. the more your together, the harder it is to pull away - and also you might leave tears, you might have a piece of that other piece of paper stuck on you, you might not be as sticky anymore. I like this analogy. I think if i truely understood it when i was so much younger... I would have avoided much heartbreak. I think also, that i understand how much someone's past can effect you. How important it is to keep yourself, for your husband. It is so hard for your partner to understand and let go of your past, when u've given a part of urself to someone else. Thats not to say that it wouldn't work out - but its much more unnecessary strain on ur relationship.
This brings me back to a post i wrote a while ago. about a friend who had this perception of having agesssssss until they wanted to get married, and they just wanted to date for fun. I remember telling him that the pain wasn't worth it. That there was simply no point. Even though you think you can handle it - and that it won't effect you, you don't know how much it'd effect someone else. I think if i talked to him again about this topic... i would bring up this analogy. I'd ask him to think about his future spouse. How she would handle it, and the strain it'd have on their relationship. And when it comes to the "tears" and the "unstickyness" and the "having a piece of the other paper stuck to you".... i dont think it just refers to the physically aspect "e.g. you lost your first kisss... or you lose your virginity"... but i guess there's just as much emotional aspects to it too. I wish i had learnt this at a younger age... but i think even if someone told me, I wouldn't have listened much, because i was young. i guess i still am, and i have lots to learn.
The wait. I think this was another thing that caught my mind. The wait.... how difficult it would be. how much we would struggle. The test of time. It never occured to me how difficult it would be. again, naive much? but you know, i believe it's going to be okay. that it will be hard, but we're going to get there. i guess im just saying that, i actually realize the difficultness that will present itself after a few years. but i dont believe that we can't get through it.
God, we want our relationship to be good in Your eyes... We want it to be pure. We want to honour You in and through our relationship. We want people to see us together, and see the love you have for us. To see the love that you gave us, that we may love each other. Teach us to discern what is from you, and what is from the world. God, you are the center of our relationship, and i pray that as we grow closer to one another, we also grow closer to you, like a triangle, a three way relationship, where the closer each edge gets to each other, the smaller the triangle gets, bringing all edges closer together. Help us be strong God...mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. God, continue to reveal to us your planss... show us that we're on the right track, and warn us when we're not. Teach us to be patient. to be wise. to be pure. In Jesus name, Amen.
it was good. got many questions answered. but i guess some of the answers were not what i wanted to hear, but it was what i needed to hear.
man i realized i am somewhat naive!
i think one of the things that struct me the most was that sexual purity does not only equal virginity. i began to understand this thing about this slide... and it scared me that i was already on that slide and going down it. hmmm... sexual immorality... it isnt just sex.
sexual gratification by ur husband in the context of marriage.
i dont know how many times grace repeated that. haha. but it stuck. and made me think.
so as we striveeee towards sexual purity. we need to set our boundaries higher. we've realized that the boundaries we did set, were too low.
i think an important thing i picked up was "dancing around our boundaries" its not so much setting the boundaries and sticking to them, but that we always find ways to "dance" around them. to find other ways to muck around. and i think that applied so directly to us. so rather than just setting boundaries, we both need to work on striving for sexual purity, rather than just "followin the rules"
One part of the session used the analogy of pieces of sticky paper. as you begin a relationship, your piece of paper begins to stick onto the other piece of paper. the more your together, the harder it is to pull away - and also you might leave tears, you might have a piece of that other piece of paper stuck on you, you might not be as sticky anymore. I like this analogy. I think if i truely understood it when i was so much younger... I would have avoided much heartbreak. I think also, that i understand how much someone's past can effect you. How important it is to keep yourself, for your husband. It is so hard for your partner to understand and let go of your past, when u've given a part of urself to someone else. Thats not to say that it wouldn't work out - but its much more unnecessary strain on ur relationship.
This brings me back to a post i wrote a while ago. about a friend who had this perception of having agesssssss until they wanted to get married, and they just wanted to date for fun. I remember telling him that the pain wasn't worth it. That there was simply no point. Even though you think you can handle it - and that it won't effect you, you don't know how much it'd effect someone else. I think if i talked to him again about this topic... i would bring up this analogy. I'd ask him to think about his future spouse. How she would handle it, and the strain it'd have on their relationship. And when it comes to the "tears" and the "unstickyness" and the "having a piece of the other paper stuck to you".... i dont think it just refers to the physically aspect "e.g. you lost your first kisss... or you lose your virginity"... but i guess there's just as much emotional aspects to it too. I wish i had learnt this at a younger age... but i think even if someone told me, I wouldn't have listened much, because i was young. i guess i still am, and i have lots to learn.
The wait. I think this was another thing that caught my mind. The wait.... how difficult it would be. how much we would struggle. The test of time. It never occured to me how difficult it would be. again, naive much? but you know, i believe it's going to be okay. that it will be hard, but we're going to get there. i guess im just saying that, i actually realize the difficultness that will present itself after a few years. but i dont believe that we can't get through it.
God, we want our relationship to be good in Your eyes... We want it to be pure. We want to honour You in and through our relationship. We want people to see us together, and see the love you have for us. To see the love that you gave us, that we may love each other. Teach us to discern what is from you, and what is from the world. God, you are the center of our relationship, and i pray that as we grow closer to one another, we also grow closer to you, like a triangle, a three way relationship, where the closer each edge gets to each other, the smaller the triangle gets, bringing all edges closer together. Help us be strong God...mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. God, continue to reveal to us your planss... show us that we're on the right track, and warn us when we're not. Teach us to be patient. to be wise. to be pure. In Jesus name, Amen.
Labels: bgr, boyfriend, church, future, God, life, marriage, prayer, relationships, sex
10:44 AM
