Thursday, September 10, 2009
♥ o n e
four posts in one day! my apoligies! surely, this will be the worst of it, i hope.
i'm in tears again, but it's okay. good tears, i hope.
today i've been working on chemistry. in preparation for my midsem exam (worth 30%) on monday.
tomorrow i'll head to uni, work on that psyc report that's also due monday (worth 20%)... which i haven't got much done of actually.
anyways i kinda realized i never actually properly explained why i am so emo x) the past few days...
relationships aren't easy. there are always obstacles.
when you become so close to someone, you find yourself changing.
some for the good, some for the bad.
some things are obvious, like the things you wear or the things you eat. you don't change because they make you, but you know it's those little things that make them happy, and it influences you. maybe your opinions and views change, maybe you had a strong hate for a colour or style, and eventually you learn to put up with it.
some things are not so obvious. and the reason i don't have any examples, is because they're not obvious.
for me, i've found that i've been getting upset so easily lately, even over the smallest of things. things that if my mate had told me a year ago that their gf was getting upset over, i would have just been like =.="...
i've found that i am on a continous emotional rollercoaster. my moods swings are insane. and no, i can't always use pms as an excuse. because it's much worse than that.
i've found that i am too emotionally dependent. that there are even nights where i don't sleep. now, how unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous does that sound?! i know, i'm such a tool.i've found that i'm a hypocrite, because the things i hated people doing, i do myself.
There were things i would judge people for, and now its time to judge myself.
to open my eyes and look in the mirror and see who i've become. to think of the person i want to be - the honest, loving, caring person... with a strong, honest, pure, God-filled relationship.
to be reminded of the plans God has for my life. to be reminded of my dreams.
to look where i want to be. and contrast it to where i am. and to find that bridge that will get me there.
s e v e n .
we're cutting contact for seven days. because i need that time. and i think he does too.
today marks the end of day one. and there was so many times where i would check my phone or want to type something on his skype. louis rekons day one is the hardest. but i rekon when i get to those days where i'm back at uni... and they... they will be difficult.
i'm in tears again, but it's okay. good tears, i hope.
today i've been working on chemistry. in preparation for my midsem exam (worth 30%) on monday.
tomorrow i'll head to uni, work on that psyc report that's also due monday (worth 20%)... which i haven't got much done of actually.
anyways i kinda realized i never actually properly explained why i am so emo x) the past few days...
relationships aren't easy. there are always obstacles.
when you become so close to someone, you find yourself changing.
some for the good, some for the bad.
some things are obvious, like the things you wear or the things you eat. you don't change because they make you, but you know it's those little things that make them happy, and it influences you. maybe your opinions and views change, maybe you had a strong hate for a colour or style, and eventually you learn to put up with it.
some things are not so obvious. and the reason i don't have any examples, is because they're not obvious.
for me, i've found that i've been getting upset so easily lately, even over the smallest of things. things that if my mate had told me a year ago that their gf was getting upset over, i would have just been like =.="...
i've found that i am on a continous emotional rollercoaster. my moods swings are insane. and no, i can't always use pms as an excuse. because it's much worse than that.
i've found that i am too emotionally dependent. that there are even nights where i don't sleep. now, how unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous does that sound?! i know, i'm such a tool.i've found that i'm a hypocrite, because the things i hated people doing, i do myself.
There were things i would judge people for, and now its time to judge myself.
to open my eyes and look in the mirror and see who i've become. to think of the person i want to be - the honest, loving, caring person... with a strong, honest, pure, God-filled relationship.
to be reminded of the plans God has for my life. to be reminded of my dreams.
to look where i want to be. and contrast it to where i am. and to find that bridge that will get me there.
s e v e n .
we're cutting contact for seven days. because i need that time. and i think he does too.
today marks the end of day one. and there was so many times where i would check my phone or want to type something on his skype. louis rekons day one is the hardest. but i rekon when i get to those days where i'm back at uni... and they... they will be difficult.
Labels: boyfriend, emo, emotions, exams, God, life, me, relationships, uni
11:54 PM
