Tuesday, August 11, 2009
♥ who am i
You know how you get those quiz things. and people get to describe you in three words....
or maybe those pictures on facebook, that you can tag people as different personalities or descriptions...
or maybe just those simple birthday cards, where people describe and compliment you.
in year five or six, i got the champagne award. for my bubbly personality.
my year twelve calculus teacher once called me a perfectionist.
i've had people describe me as cheerful, motivated, bright, smart, passionate, confident, independent, daring, loud, friendly, compassionate.
but who i am i now?
those descriptions of me. were they truely who i was, or simply the impression i gave off - what i let people believe. more importantly... do they still define who i am?
so how do i see myself now. very different to be honest. i think my posts are getting a bit repetitive.
so let me cut to the chase.
people change. it's amazing how a mother doesn't get to choose their child. and no matter how much that child changes. a mother will still love her child.
it's amazing how God can love His children, despite how much they may reject Him... how much their relationship with Him changes.
unconditional love is beautiful.
but how about if we take a few step down, and talk about friendships.
you befriend someone because maybe you get along, you share common interests, you like the qualities that the person has. and if that person changes? i guess things might change. you become distant, maybe u distance urself from them, or vice versa - or maybe neither, your lives just go in different directions by itself.
lets take back up.
God chooses to still love us, despite us being sinners.
A mother chooses to still love their child, despite the rejection her child gives her.
A friend chooses to still hold onto that friendship, despite no longer having the common interests and qualities that were once there.
A boyfriend chooses to still love his girlfriend, despite her no longer having those qualities that made him fall in love with her.
At the moment I see myself, as much as i hate to admit it, as attachy, emotional and edgey.
But I can't help how i feel. I can hide it - that's not a problem. and if i chose to do so, then maybe i would be more like i use to be. But where's the truth in that. How is that being honest about my feelings.
I'm quite a wrek at the moment. A lot of things have been getting to me. And when questioned why or how things upset me, I dont even know the answer. I dont get how things that would have hardly bother me a year ago, can impact me so much now. How, if a year ago i had heard of someone else reacting the way i do now, i would have seen them as silly, immature and maybe even stupid.
and really, thats how i feel i am at the moment.
or maybe those pictures on facebook, that you can tag people as different personalities or descriptions...
or maybe just those simple birthday cards, where people describe and compliment you.
in year five or six, i got the champagne award. for my bubbly personality.
my year twelve calculus teacher once called me a perfectionist.
i've had people describe me as cheerful, motivated, bright, smart, passionate, confident, independent, daring, loud, friendly, compassionate.
but who i am i now?
those descriptions of me. were they truely who i was, or simply the impression i gave off - what i let people believe. more importantly... do they still define who i am?
so how do i see myself now. very different to be honest. i think my posts are getting a bit repetitive.
so let me cut to the chase.
people change. it's amazing how a mother doesn't get to choose their child. and no matter how much that child changes. a mother will still love her child.
it's amazing how God can love His children, despite how much they may reject Him... how much their relationship with Him changes.
unconditional love is beautiful.
but how about if we take a few step down, and talk about friendships.
you befriend someone because maybe you get along, you share common interests, you like the qualities that the person has. and if that person changes? i guess things might change. you become distant, maybe u distance urself from them, or vice versa - or maybe neither, your lives just go in different directions by itself.
lets take back up.
God chooses to still love us, despite us being sinners.
A mother chooses to still love their child, despite the rejection her child gives her.
A friend chooses to still hold onto that friendship, despite no longer having the common interests and qualities that were once there.
A boyfriend chooses to still love his girlfriend, despite her no longer having those qualities that made him fall in love with her.
At the moment I see myself, as much as i hate to admit it, as attachy, emotional and edgey.
But I can't help how i feel. I can hide it - that's not a problem. and if i chose to do so, then maybe i would be more like i use to be. But where's the truth in that. How is that being honest about my feelings.
I'm quite a wrek at the moment. A lot of things have been getting to me. And when questioned why or how things upset me, I dont even know the answer. I dont get how things that would have hardly bother me a year ago, can impact me so much now. How, if a year ago i had heard of someone else reacting the way i do now, i would have seen them as silly, immature and maybe even stupid.
and really, thats how i feel i am at the moment.
Labels: boyfriend, God, parents, relationships, self image, sin
7:09 PM
