Thursday, April 2, 2009

♥ Goals & Expectations

Today was a happy day.

After reading that "life. sex. and everything inbetween" book yesterday, i got this idea of starting to write things down, when it came to my relationship with my boyfriend!

sound weird? yeah i guess it does kinda, but it felt right. Like we talk about these kinda things - some may even be really obvious. but I guess its good to right it down. to come back and reflect on it... and to even have some goals to aim for and strive to achieve.

we got together and prayed for God's guidance and direction first. we want our relationship to be on the right track, and continue being that way.

then we sorta started to list our goals and expecations for the next year...

and well, u could say those "goals and expectations" ranged quite a bit.

but i'll list them here, so it's some sorta public declaration haha, that it's something we want to stick by. so if we don't - be sure to point it out to us!

Honor God first, and in everything we do.

obviously this was first that came to mind. we want to ensure that God is always at the center of our relationship, and rather than pulling each other away from God, we want our relationship to pull us closer to Him.

Honor our parents, before each other.

this is hard. because as teens, we do fight with our parents. but we've realized its important to follow our parents, and respect them and their wishes. we don't want to be the rebel couple who goes against their parents. rather we want their support, love and encouragement.

Pray and reflect once a month (9th)

the 9th is our anniversary. we decided it was important that we started praying together, and that we spent time reflecting on how our relationship was going - and also checking that we're on our way of accomplishing our goals and expecations. but goals, expectations and even rules can and sometimes need to be changed over time. and this is also a good time for that.

Not to raise our voices (yell) at each other

ahh, so we've really only had one major fight. but its inevitable that there's more to come. we decided it was important that we work through our fights in a "civil" manner. haha. yelling is often out of anger. and we think its important that we don't yell at each other.

Try to resolve disputes before we sleep

having problems that last a long period of time is really uncool. and i dont like it. and josh said he doesn't like sleeping with problems still in tact. Of course, this can't always happen (because sometimes we'll find that its not really solved, but rather swept under the carpet) but when it comes to lil things, then we will at least try to resolve it quickly, and preferably before we sleep that night.

Be open and honest with each other in everything

we've made it a vital point, not to keep secrets, and to be really open and honest about everything. it's to do with trust. it's important for any relationship.

Trust each other with our vulnerability.

Being in a relationship with someone... and loving them, gives them the power to hurt you. It makes u vulnerable to a certain extent. We need to trust each other with our vulnerability. I use to say hurt is inevitable, which yes, it is. I know eventually there will be a day where Josh will hurt me, and also there will be a day that I will hurt him. But i trust him with the power he has, the power to hurt me.

Keep up with Academics (university)

ahh. yes, so balancing and juggling life is not easy. But uni is an essential part of our lives at the moment, and we both need to ensure that we're keeping up with our work and grades - and not letting us distract one another or eat up too much "study" time.

Support each other (spiritually & emotionally)

There will be times where we will fall, sometimes spiritually... and sometimes emotionally. And even when we haven't fallen, and we're going great, its good to support each other and encourage one another in our walk through life

Respect each other (mentally & physically)

*inserts musical note* AREE EEE ESS PEA EEE CEE TEA... I believe its vital that we respect one another. I think respect is important in any kinda of relationship (friendship, family etc) and it shouldn't change when it comes to boyfriend/girlfriend. We need to respect one another, and physically too, we need to respect each other's bodies... as we would respect our own!

Cap our 'outings' to 2, or 3 with an occasion present, a week

haha. so we've been spending way too much time together we've realized. this of course results in us not spending enough time with our friends... or spending enough time studying... etc etc. so we kinda decided to 'cap' it. haha. this will ensure that we have a life outside our relationship!

Avoid staying up and chatting til late

sleep is important. if we don't get enough of it, we fall asleep in lectures and are not very productive. no chatting on the phone past midnight! well, that was the idea anyways 8)

Aim to get our parents to befriend each other

i think it'd be pretty awesome if our family got along. i think it's going to be our goal this year. to get our parents to meet, and hopefully become friends. it'd just make things a bit easier (and less awkward when they pick us up from each other's houses!)

That's all we've got down so far for Goals & Expecations. I'm sure we'll be adding more... especially as we begin to grow and expect more from God - to see more things happen.

It's a good start. So I'm happy =) happy that we're on track. and that it seems like we're heading in the right direction. I hope we are!

Thanks be to God!

Labels: boyfriend, Goals and Expectations, God, jaydee book, relationships

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Thursday, April 2, 2009

♥ Goals & Expectations

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