Monday, February 8, 2010
♥ i want to tell you
over the past few days, even weeks, it feels like he's not even there...
i know part of it is my fault. the days he's wanted to talk, i wasn't in the mood.
and the days i've tried to talk to him, he's either busy with things or tired from being busy.
there's so many things i want to say.
to share how excited i am about starting up a leos club, and how glad i am lighthouse will be there to back me up
to share how upset i was this morning when my mother was so upset and was just shouting, that i just grabbed her before i left and hugged her, both crying on each others shoulders.
to show how annoyed and upset i am, at disorganised people
to share how confused and uncertain i am about my future
to share how much i hate the dust that made me sneeze today while cleaning my room
to share how ugly i look on that yoty booklet i found today
it's not that i don't have anyone to share this with. i could call up an, and tell him everything. i could reopen that msn conversation with louis, and tell him everything. i could change the topic of the skype conversation with david, and tell him everything.
but it wouldn't be the same. they wouldn't understand like you do. they wouldn't comfort me like you do. i want to tell you.
but i know that when you call tomorrow... i won't have anything to say. because that's what happens when i'm like this. i no longer feel that excitement i had about this. the annoyedness i had about that. the hate. the confusion. the tears.
it all just fades away, as i listen to your voice, and wonder how we ended up so far apart.
Labels: boyfriend, life, me, relationships
12:12 AM
