Sunday, April 1, 2012
♥ rural
J told me yesterday that he wants to spend next year going rural.
My immediate response went something like…
What?! What for? Why? A WHOLE year?
His reason was that he would gain a lot more experience going rural, than staying in the city.
So? What about all your responsibilities? SMA? Leadership at church? What about ME? What about US?! No. You can’t go!
I called him selfish. I called him inconsiderate. How could he only think about what he wanted, and not think about everything else?
Last night I really struggled with the idea. I wished I could be that good girlfriend who would say YES, Go! I support you!
But I DIDN’T want him to go, I was scared at the fact he was even considering it. A whole year? This could mean breaking point for us. Surely whatever you gain from going rural isn’t THAT great. I mean plenty of doctors don’t go rural and end up fine…
Reality was, I was being selfish. I didn’t want to let him go because I would miss him. I wasn’t thinking about what he wanted, what was best for him - I was focussed on my own insecurities.
At Church today I talked to G, and when I told her that J was considering going rural, her immediate response was ‘that’s GOOD!’ She told me about the benefits of going rural, the difference you can make in the community, the range of things you learn and gain from the experience, and how much you can grow…
She challenged the idea that we become doctors to help people - but it’s so easy to forget it along the way - we focus on moving up the hierarchy in the medical world - from graduating from med school, to intern years, working your way up in hospital, specialising… She talked about being comfortable and content with where we are, that it’s easy to just get so tied up with what we’re doing, that we forget the bigger picture, what we really wanted to do as doctors.
But there’s just something about being rural… that I don’t like. I’d love to go overseas and work there for a year. But being in rural Australia - I don’t know what it is… I just… don’t like the idea of it.
But back to J. I know it would benefit him so much. It would give him some amazing experience. It will challenge him, and he would learn so much from it and essentially be a better doctor. Not only that, it will help him grow as an individual - to be more independent.
I’m still getting my head around the whole thing. But now I feel like I have a better idea of how beneficial it is for him, both as a future doctor and an individual.
Letting him go is the hardest part.
7:05 PM
